A real man....

That may come as a joke lol...but you know there always was a real man and always will be! I created him in my mind, he's in my heart and nobody can take him out of there...I even found him...
I had moments in my life when I said there is no one for me, no real man left out but then I always had that faith of finding the man in my heart, that real man that I created. I wanned to find him so many times, I needed a real man, maybe I was weak, maybe I needed a man for affection, or maybe I just needed a man cuz I was so damn insecure.
But now, I don't! I just need to be with maself, I need to find me again, I need to search for what I have been loosing with all the wrong men I have been with, I've learned a lot from all the mistakes I have done and now I just need to keep learnin and be stronger and more secure for when Ima be with my real man!
Some may not understand that...most women I kno they won't and maybe also a lot of men wouldn't understand that like why do I need time to figure out bout me? why do I need the time to be with maself? Well it's cuz I DON'T NEED to be in a DEPENDENT relationship. I ve been in one for 5 years and it's not good we destroyed a lot of eachother....I decided to learn from all we did and not to that again, I hope he did too....if he didn't he will one day....

Im a stronger woman now and I can be on my own, till ima be wit my strong man, what I want from that man is not to be there for me all the time but be there when I need him to be, I don't need him to call me every hour, I need him to call me when he needs me or when he's happy n wants to share that wit me or when he's sad and wants also to share it wit me. I don't want to depend on him, cuz I m an independent woman I wanna need your love but yet dont depend on it. I want you to feed me wit your love all the time and I kno i will do the same to you. All I'm sayin here is a pure love, an independent love that just is filled with pure love not bad or negative energy not thoughts of jealousy.....but...what is jealousy anyway?
A great man told me smth very interesting just the same thing as I believe about jealousy in a relationship.....I mean why waste time n energy in that? why think that I could be wit other man than wit u? If I am wit you it means im givin u my all, and if I do it means it's that real love we've been searching for, and u don't have to question it just feel it don't think bout what Ima do, where Ima go, just feel my love n feed me wit ur love. Why is that so hard for most of us? I mean it was damn hard for me too....I ve been jealous, n that s also cuz I used to be insecure....but being on my own thinking bout all this situations made me realize how much easier would be without this thing named JEALOUSY....

I would love to find a man that would be able to keep us connected through our mind n spirit, that would just be there n feel him n he would feel me n when the time is for us to be together to get together. I need to do so many things rite now.....n I feel that I gotta do them for maself, be selfish for once in my life, think about what I really wanna do not what that n that wants me to do....I feel like if there s really love between us WE WILL BE TOGETHER baby.....